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    Funny things to put in your online dating profile

    That way people like me can avoid you like the plague. I guarantee a bunch of guys will swoon over you and as soon as they meet you in person they’ll be won over by your sparkling personality and won’t care that your picture was a total sham. Like you know those pictures people take of themselves in the mirror so you can see the camera? ‘Cause that kind of picture just screams, “Heyyy, I’m such a loser I don’t have any friends to take a picture of me! ” I don’t give a rat’s ass if Justin Bieber does it. Unless you ARE Justin Bieber and you’re reading this in which case, holy crap, Justin Bieber is reading my blog. That option can be a bit overwhelming, though, so go with a relatively short name and focus your creative juices on the tagline. People who work in advertising agencies can make their entire career on just one tagline. ”) As in advertising, the key to a good tagline in online dating is In the world of marketing (which, in the end, is what online dating is all about), the goal is to reach the right customer, not every customer.

    All I see when you have Tiësto listed as your music, a stuffed-animal shawl over your neck and a photo of you with hundreds of people standing in a pool holding a floatie…is that you're so over molly that you're into ketamine now.

    A bit of research from relationship-focused dating app Hinge might help you answer those questions.

    In its own app, Hinge helps people get the conversation started by giving them various prompts to answer, which they can pin to their profile.

    And if you're thinking you're all high and mighty because you're not single and don't need this, well, goody goody gumdrops for you, but be a saint and share this shit with your single friends. Ten things to do when you’re creating an online dating profile: 1. Yeah, I know they say you’re supposed to be completely honest and crap but that’s bullshit. If I were completely truthful, I would have written: “I like cats, TLC marathons, The Bachelorette, eating Hershey’s syrup straight out of the bottle, putting on my fat pants the second I get home, and meat, sports and beer.” 2.

    So yeah, I'm an F'ing expert on this subject and I'd be an a-hole not to share my brilliant wisdom with you.

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